Yesterday, I ended up having to move out of my apartment and in record time, less than 12 hours! I had to move and pack almost everything by myself. No one really showed up to help except for my parents and a friend. By this, I found out really that I know who your real friends are, I think... Not even my sister showed up. I'm still pretty mad about that. It's going to be awhile before I can forgive her. But she's always been pretty selfish, but that's another story for later...
I'm really sad about the move. I've left a lot of things behind. Many pieces of furniture, my kitchen stuff, my good credit, and my heart. I'm pretty devastated, now I have to move in with my parents for a while, just to get back on my feet. Somehow, I'm going to have to try to pick up the pieces, but I'm hesitant and frustrated. Even if I have nothing, I'm used to being independent and I'm used to taking care of myself and not having to rely on other people. Now, I have to be here again.
My once treasured independence is gone. My mom likes to refer to my new move/life crisis as a fresh start, but the only title I can come up with is "depression." I'm definitely not excited about moving back in with my parents. Specifically because my mother is really controlling and manipulative. I'd honestly rather live in my car, and I probably will at least 2x a week when I get my car moving again. But I guess it's a good start for now. *Lying to myself*
Hopefully the next time that I talk to you things would have gotten better. Fingers crossed. I do have a job that I'm currently interested in. The application procedure is long but it's a really fulfilling job. I applied to it last week and am praying that I get it. This would mean I could move away from this awful place and pretty much really start over, my kind of way. But I should know about it by the end of April, hopefully. But my biggest problem about the job is that it starts in August. And I need it to start by the second week of May. So if I get it, I might ask to start early, so that's another thing to pray about. If not, I'll have to pray (again) that God can help me to last until August. I just don't think that I could last in my state or at my parent's too long. I just have to get away from this fucking place!
Whatever, all I can do these days is pray. Thankfully, it's free.
Thanks for listening. XOXO
-KO
